Thursday, January 28, 2016

That Time a Stranger Totally Creeped Me Out (and what offended me most of all)

My fingers gently gripped the bright red tomato, feeling for just enough give to ensure a pleasant ripeness on the inside.  I showed it to my blue eyed toddler boy, sitting patiently in the grocery cart next to me.  

"This is a tomato" I told him, placing it in the clear plastic produce bag along with a few others.
"May-toe!", he repeated enthusiastically.
"These are going to be great with our tacos tonight.  Mmmm ... tacos." I smiled at him.
"Mmmmm," he smiled back.

As we moved a few steps down to pick out some garlic and onions, I noticed a middle-aged man watching us from across the produce bins.  I smiled politely, as I was accustomed to doing when out with my baby, and returned to my veggie scouting.

Unlike most polite stranger interactions, this man continued to stare.  It made me uncomfortable.  I looked up at him again, this time no smile, as if to say, what's your deal, buddy?  He took it from there.

"That's a mighty good lookin' boy you got there." He stared at my toddler who was babbling quietly to himself.  "He's gonna have a lot of lovers when he gets older.  A lot of lovers."  With that last sentence, the man looked at me with a pleasant smile.  I guess he thought he had paid me a compliment.

The horrified look on my face must have indicated otherwise.  

I quickly turned my back and shielded Micah from this man's view and began to make a quick exit.  Oh my word!  Was about all I could think.  This man is a total creep!

The stranger must have noticed how uncomfortable this whole conversation was for me and likely, how inappropriate it was.  In an effort to redeem himself, he added one last gold nugget before he left.  

"Um ... I uh ... I meant a lot of female lovers.  Females, is what I meant."

I widened my eyes and shook my head in disbelief.  His clarification most certainly did not make me any more comfortable with this whole interchange!  Thankfully he left very quickly and we did not see him again.

In between checking over my shoulder to make sure this guy wasn't following us and managing Micah in the cart while still attempting to finish the grocery trip, I was trying to process what had just happened.  I was confused and shocked and a thousand other unidentified emotions.  I mean ... whoa.  Really?  How crazy was that?!

As we drove home, the groceries bags arranged, tetris-style, into the trunk and Micah buckled safely in his carseat, I thought about what happened in the grocery store.  This man was clearly way, way, wayyyy out of line.  But, I think what made me the most upset is that he thought he was paying me a compliment by saying, because of his good looks, Micah was destined for life as a successful womanizer.  And, I think what bothered me most about that is, being a womanizer is not at all a characteristic I would want to define my son.  Not in the least.

Imagine, twenty years from now, Josh and I sitting down with old friends and catching up on life over the past several years.  We'd pull out the family album and laugh and reminisce with our friends about old times and share stories of parenthood as we flipped through pictures of our kids' growing up years.  And then we'd get to a picture of Micah.  Still with his same sparkling blue eyes, but his face older and chiseled and quite handsome.  And we'd say, "There's our Micah.  He's an amazing man.  You know, he brings a different girl home every night?  Sometimes even two!"  And Josh and I would exchange a loving glance and he would pull me in for a tender side hug as if to say, we did it.  There's our son.  We're so proud.  Sigh.

Ummmmm ... no.  Not on your life, pal.

To my sweet, wonderful, amazing son, if you ever read this, here is what Mommy and Daddy truly hope for your future ...

[He] must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money,but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence ... he must have a good testimony among those who are outside ... 
1 Timothy 3:2-7

And this is my prayer for you, my sweet guy, to help you get there ...
Blessed is the man

Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
    Nor stands in the path of sinners,
    Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
    And in His law he meditates day and night.
He shall be like a tree
    Planted by the rivers of water,
    That brings forth its fruit in its season,
    Whose leaf also shall not wither;
And whatever he does shall prosper.

The ungodly are not so,

But are like the chaff which the wind drives away.
Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment,
Nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.

For the Lord knows the way of the righteous,

But the way of the ungodly shall perish.
Psalm 1

The world will try to tell you otherwise, my big man.  They'll deceive you into thinking Jesus's way is antiquated and uncool.  But, in reality, it is the way to true happiness in this life and beyond.  Please don't stray.  But, if you do, we will always be here to help point you back in the right direction.  You are so special to us, and to the Lord too.   Don't ever forget it.  


  1. Oh wow, yeah that would creep me out, too. What if he had said "girl friends" instead of "lovers" -- would that had been less creepy, in your opinion? The word "lover" is just more mature and seductive sounding, a very sexual word which made his comment so creepy. But had he said, "Yep, that one is going to have lots of girl friends when he gets older. Such a handsome fellow!" -- would that have evoked the same emotion from you? I think I might not have been creeped out by that comment. But for SURE what that guy said to you was inappropriate and very, very creepy!

    1. You know, it probably was that word "lover". It just seemed such an inappropriate word to use regarding a two year old. Yuck. "Girlfriends" might have not made me feel as creeped out, but my sentiment and hope for my son remains unchanged.

      Also ... I'm so sorry about your loss of sweet baby Aaron. Please let me know if I can do anything for you <3