3 Kids, 3 Different Places

Sunday was Mother's Day.  I'm sure I don't stand alone when I say it's a bittersweet holiday.  There are elements that I celebrate wholeheartedly - being a mama to a wonderful boy, two lovely women I have the privilege of calling mom, carrying and sustaining life.  But even still, there are aspects that bring tears to my eyes - a grandmother I never got to know, a daughter whose handprints will never decorate a gluey Mother's Day card, pain in my heart for all the hurting mamas I am blessed to know.  It's a special day and at the same time, a sobering day.

This Mother's Day I was thinking very much about my three kids and how loving them means three very different things.

Loving Micah means being there for him and caring for his day-to-day needs.  It means giving out a bazillion high fives to reinforce good behavior, praying desperately for direction and wisdom in how to mold him into a Christ-centered little boy.  It means four thousand kisses per cheek, per day.  Playing superheroes, bonding time outside on the swing, being the all-time designated pitcher for the all-time cutest hitter.  Bedtime stories and snuggles.  Our relationship is very tangible and I love it.

Loving Evie is very different.  Loving her is replaying memories over and over in hopes that none will fade.  It means speaking her name and talking about her with ease and ensuring others are comfortable doing the same.  Loving her means praising the Father for His eternal plan.  It means being a spokesperson and advocate for babies like her and mamas like me.  Our relationship feels much bigger than just the two of us, and I love it.

Loving Jocelyn (Joci) is different still.  Loving her means taking care of myself.  It means listening to my body when it cries for rest, water, or double death by chocolate ice cream fruit.  It means swallowing those miserable vitamins because I know it's good for us.  It means preparing our home and family for her arrival.  Loving her means loving someone I don't even know yet, but am certain she'll be my favorite third child ever.  Our relationship is very hopeful, and I love it.

Loving my kids in their very different places makes me think of all the sweet mamas out there who also have babies in different places.  Maybe they are in your arms, maybe in your hearts.  Maybe they are no more than a dream but you pray for them even now and look forward to the day you will hold them close.  These little souls have been entrusted to us ... we are their mothers.  And so, I want to wish all the special mommies out there, no matter where your babies are, a very Happy bleated Mother's Day.