Last Mother's Day I was about twelve weeks along in my second pregnancy. Josh watched Micah for the afternoon so I could get a haircut, lunch out, and wander the mall for as long as my little heart desired. It was a beautiful day and the onset of Spring added to the excitement that was building up inside thinking of how the following Mother's Day there would be two sweet Rieke babies to cuddle and kiss.
How different things look now.
This Mother's Day instead of being plus one, I am minus one. And no matter how many children are added to our family, one will always be missing - there will always be one less.
One less cheek to kiss.
One less pair of arms to wrap around my neck.
One less pair of chubby little hands to bring me breakfast in bed.
One less glittery Mother's Day card.
One less macaroni art project to proudly display on the refrigerator.
One less sweet face to gaze into and be overwhelmed with all the love and hope and potential I see there.
If you are one less this Mother's Day, I am so sorry. I am sorry you are one less and that part of your heart is missing today. It hurts and there is really no way around it.
But I still want to wish you a Happy Mother's Day, for the babies you may mother here and especially for the babies you hold in your heart. To all the mommies who have lost babies in the first, second, or third trimester, full term stillbirth, infant or child loss, I say Happy Mother's Day. You are a mommy. Your heart is beautiful and your baby is special. Don't believe anyone who tells you otherwise.