This post comes from Sarah Rogers of Messes and Moments. Since I lost Evie, Sarah has been faithful to follow my story and write such kind, encouraging words to me. I am so glad she agreed to participate in my series and I think you will really enjoy reading what she has to share.
“Please, let me know if there is anything you need.” I nod my head, smile, and mutter, “Oh, thank
you, I will!” I’m always touched because
those words leave my mouth as often as they fall on my ears. We mean it, we really do. I have so many women in my life that I love
dearly and would do anything they asked.
I would wake my baby up from a nap, bring a coffee, and sit with them
while they cried if they would only ask.
And I know that so many of
those women would do the same for me, if I only asked.
It’s just that the question hardly ever will leave my
lips. It’s not even pride (not this
time, at least). The honest truth is
that I just don’t think to ask. In the moment that I really need a friend to
show up on my doorstep, triple grande, non-fat, no whipped mocha in hand, my
instinct is only to power through.
Because this is life, and thank God He’s given us the grace and the
ability to motivate us through those times.
It’s truly just not my M.O. to break down.
But if you come at me the right way, you can make it
happen. Like when that friend showed up
in my first weeks of motherhood, when the sleepiness and hormones were taking
me on quite the rollercoaster. Wielding
M&Ms, Starbucks, and a sweet card, she sat with me as I fought my way
through a tough nursing session, and my awkward, sleep-deprived words tumbled
out: “I feel like I’m supposed to be enjoying this, but I’m just so tired, and
it’s hard.” As she looked back at me and
confirmed just how normal it all was and just how great of a mother I was
already, I felt a weight lifted off of my back.
She was helping me carry it. I
didn’t even know I’d needed to share it.
I couldn’t have asked her to come and listen and nod and hug me because
truly, I had no idea I’d need it.
So here I sit, pregnant with my second child before my first
(super active little monkey-man) has even turned one. And Sarah writes me and asks me what friends
have done to show their love. I think
back on this last year, and I know for sure that it’s the times that the women
in my life have just “shown up.” The
times when I’m told to drop my child
off because I need time to
myself. The times when I’m told that I’m going to have dinner made
for me so that I can have a night off.
The times when I know I’m failing and that friend shows up with my
favorite treat and tells me I’m a great mom anyway. I would never know how to ask for these
things, because I wouldn’t think to need them.
I figure I’m not alone in this, so I try to remember not to
ask what that friend needs and just to do
it for her. If she’s anything like
me, she might not call and ask to be checked up on. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t need it. I’ve needed every ounce of love poured out on
me since I started this journey of motherhood, whether I knew it or not.
So true! Just yesterday, I told a new mom that I'd watch her kid anytime, and then realized that she'll probably never ask on her own, because I know I wouldn't. But by saying, "bring him over on Monday" it takes away the awkwardness.
ReplyDeleteLove this post!! I should add that Sarah (Rieke) is one of those friends for me. I can't count how many times she's left starbucks or chic fil a on my porch. she's a treasure. :) So glad you shared! I never know what to do for new moms other than meals. Thank you!!
ReplyDeleteFor real!? I wish I lived closer to Sarah (and chick fil a)! :)
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