Wednesday, January 9, 2013

delayed gratification

Throughout this whole journey with Evie I have felt a theme running through each and every step of the way - delayed gratification.  Delayed gratification is defined by wikipedia as: the ability to resist the temptation for an immediate reward and wait for a later reward. Generally, delayed gratification is associated with resisting a smaller but more immediate reward in order to receive a larger or more enduring reward later.  Basically it's what puts the challenge into losing weight, saving money, etc. because we must deny ourselves immediate pleasures in order to wait for a future benefit.

Another way of describing that term is patience.  Patience to endure the present in order to reap the rewards promised in the future.  God has made so many promises in Scripture to those who endure trials.  He promises good things to those who wait:  

Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.  James 1:12

There are countless verses in the Bible that speak of how great the rewards of Heaven will be compared to the difficulties we face on this earth:

Therefore we do not lose heart.  Even though the outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.  For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things with are not seen.  For the things which are seen are temporary but the things which are not seen are eternal.  2 Corinthians 4:16-18.
The verses above have meant a lot to me in recent months.  At first I was slightly annoyed that Paul referred to the struggles of this life as "light afflictions".  Light?   What about knowingly carrying a baby with fatal birth defects for four months and then watching her die seems light?  

But the realization came that considering the grand scheme of Heaven and eternity, it is light.  Some days the idea of living without Evie is insurmountable.  I probably have, give or take, fifty more years on this earth.  That seems like a really long time to live without someone I love.  

But how long is fifty years compared to eternity?  It is light indeed.

So delayed gratification.  I realize that I must be denied something wonderful in this life so I can reap great benefits and rewards in Heaven.  And spending every day of eternity with my sweet girl will be unbelievably more wonderful than any day we could have had together here.


  1. I never thought of the idea of delayed gratification but that is such a perfect way of explaining it! Praying for you and looking forward to that indescribable eternity we have ahead!!

  2. Replies
    1. Thank you for your company the other night ... I didn't realize how much I needed it until you came!

    2. I will come any night you need some company. I'm always game for staying up too late...keeps me young...right? haha. I enjoyed hanging out, you're the best! You are a good friend too, in the midst of all you are going through, you are not selfish and always think and ask questions of others, and I appreciate that.

  3. This is beautiful and perfect. Your heart and efforts to rest in God's arms are a blessing to read.

  4. Replies
    1. Thank you Kyla. I hope you are well. Remembering sweet Tossie today <3

  5. Very well said Sarah. The verses are perfect. Love you, Chris

  6. Replies
    1. It doesn't erase the pain but certainly makes me look forward to eternity much more!

  7. And one of the main differences between immaturity and maturity is the ability to foresee the reward at the end of the pain. "The discipline that is a little cruel in order that it might be very kind."

    1. Like in Hebrews: for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross