But at that appointment I was promised that the spot would still be reserved for Evie and I could come back and paint a heart for her whenever I was ready. So one week after Evie was born I did just that.
I was really nervous and prayed so hard for several things. I prayed that Blair, the midwife who saw us the day Evie was diagnosed, would be available to talk. I prayed that the receptionist would be kind and patient with me. I prayed that I wouldn't be rushed or feel rushed and that it would be just as fulfilling of an experience as I'd hoped it would be.
Wouldn't you know it was.
The Lord answered all my prayers. Through a pretty random set of circumstances Blair was available. She sat down and talked with me and cried with me. She listened to my details of Evie's dramatic arrival and laughed with me about the craziness of it all. She looked at the picture I had of Evie on my phone and commented on her sweet face and perfect lips. She told me how amazing I looked for one week postpartum. She hugged me and promised to come Evie's memorial (which she did) and encouraged me that I would be back there soon enough for baby #3. And she made me feel like an absolute saint for pumping milk for a friend's baby. She truly made me feel special and remembered.
And the receptionist, Jenny, was such a sweetheart. She told me to take as long as I needed, got me several different paintbrushes to use, and stood by me as I commemorated my sweet Evie. She told me I was great at drawing hearts and gave me a big hug on my way out. I even felt comfortable enough to share my blog with her, something else I had prayed for.
As I turned my back to leave I felt the tears well up. I started to feel incredibly sad that a hand-drawn heart was in the place where a tiny pair of feet should have been. But then something in me switched. I realized how every prayer I had prayed that morning was answered. The Lord took care of me in such a delicate way that morning. And I felt hope that I would be back there someday, something that I wasn't always sure of.
As I left the Midwifery Center I felt an unbelievable peace and walked out with a very contented smile on my face. I felt so carried by an unbelievably gracious Father who treated one of His hurting children so gently that morning. What a tender heart He has.
|Micah's feet, Evie's heart (vines indicate siblings)|
ps ... Mom Rieke, here is the comment you posted after my baby feet post:
I had been wondering about the spot on the wall for Evie. Those ladies at the Midwifery center are so sweet!! God bless them! I will be praying specifically that you will be allowed to have future babies at the Midwifery center at DePaul.
God surely (and dramatically) answered your prayer! I love you.