Saturday, July 21, 2012

the elephant in the room

Well I anticipate actually venturing out into the real world this weekend.  And I suppose that means I will see people and people will see me.  And I just have a few thoughts I wanted to share to maybe make things less awkward when you do see me.  

I will probably look like I just cried.  Or I will be crying.  Or I will cry when you come up and hug me.  Just expect it and be ok with it.  

It's ok if you cry around me.  It's also ok if you don't.  It's ok if you sniffle and squeak and can barely get a word out.  And it's ok if you eloquently crack a joke.  Just do whatever comes naturally.  

It's ok to avoid me.  I understand not everyone knows how to act at times like this. 

Don't be afraid to tell me you've been praying for me or what you've been praying or ask what to pray for.  That is very comforting to me.

Don't be afraid to ask questions about me or Evie.  I realize there are many things you might not understand.  Please also be aware there are many things I don't know and won't know until she is born.

Don't be afraid to rub my belly or ask how my pregnancy is going.  I'm still pregnant and Evie is still growing in there.  

I am trying to resume life as usual so talking to me about normal stuff is totally fine.  Expected and encouraged even.

I suppose that's all I have for now.  Just wanted to break the ice a little and acknowledge the elephant in the room.  I suppose I'll be seeing many of you soon and I look forward to it.  <3


  1. I can't wait to see you! I hope we can give you a few care free moments this afternoon. {hugs}

  2. I'm going to talk to your dad about providing me with a few eloquent jokes to crack!

  3. I can't wait to see you!!! And talk to little Evie. :)

  4. Love you!! I know I already told you in person - but just wanted to remind you how wonderful this is. All your posts have been amazing. I loved spending time with you today.

  5. Hi Sarah, I am here from Lauren's blog, and I just wanted to tell you I am so sorry. I have lost a little girl, and I know that phrase 'elephant in the room' all too well. You and your precious girl are in my thoughts and prayers.

    xo fran

  6. I wish we were there to see you! :) Know we're praying and love you!

  7. Hi Sarah. I wish i could reach through this computer and just hug you and weep with you. You and your precious daughter are in my prayers. I heard your story from your dear friend Lauren's blog. Please know that we serve the great healer I pray He holds you and your precious family through whatever may happen in the future. I have a little one in the arms of Jesus whom I never got to hold. I pray you know His Love and Peace.

  8. Sarah,
    I found your blog through a friend, and you and Evie have been at the center of my thoughts over the last few days. Your strength has been amazing, and your thoughts inspiring. I am so, so sorry for what you are going through. I'm not sure if you've ever read this blog, but it is written by a woman whose baby girl went to be with Jesus right after she was born. She has a beautiful testimony to share, and I thought it might help a bit. Praying for you and your family.

  9. What a wonderful post. It should surely help those who love you and Josh and Micah and Evie know how to better approach you and help you through this weekend especially . Continuing to pray for a miracle but especially for the will of the Father to be done. Love you all.

  10. I found your blog through an incredibly moving post that Lauren Casper wrote. I remember those feelings you share, and my heart goes out to you. I also admire your strength and courage.

    Four years ago my husband, then three-year-old daughter, and I saw our baby boy for the first time during our sixteen week ultrasound. What a joyous moment! We knew his name right away. Soon after, the doctor told us that something was very wrong, that our son would likely not survive. Such a wrenching moment, but we found peace in the love and support of our family, friends, and our faith. For four weeks after that moment as I carried Ethan inside me, we treasured our time together, spoke to him, my daughter kissed him through my belly button, and I did everything I could to cry, to love, to be strong for my family, and to cherish the little time we had together on this earth, even if it was while he was in the womb. Though we lost him, we celebrate his tiny life.

    You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.