Thursday, April 26, 2012

dear baby

I wrote this post a few weeks ago when we first found out we were pregnant.  My feelings were very raw at that point.  Just a little glimpse into this mama's heart.  


Dear Little Baby,


Well, this morning I took a second pregnancy test to confirm that you're in there.  The first test results were so faint that Daddy was pretty skeptical and I guess I was too.  But now we know for sure. 


I must say I feel a little more afraid this time than I was with your big brother.  Maybe because I already know of the things to come - fatigue, nausea, back pain, breathing troubles, labor ... oh labor!  Maybe it's because I already have a baby and am afraid I won't be able to adequately care for him and you.  Maybe it's because one of the first things Daddy reminded me of was how critical these first few weeks of pregnancy are and that a fairly large percentage (about 25% I think) result in miscarriage.  That scares me more than anything.  


But I really am happy.  I look forward to feeling you move around and sharing those moments with Daddy and Micah.  I look forward to hearing your heartbeat once a month and seeing your little body move around on an ultrasound.  And most of all, I look forward to meeting you in a few months; kissing you, snuggling you, breathing in your sweet baby smell.  


Well now the tears are flowing as I fully process these mixed emotions for the first time today.  And to be completely honest the only truth I can hang onto now (and always) are promises from a Heavenly Father who has our best interests in mind; me as your mommy and you as a preciously created being, fearfully and wonderfully made.  


Please stay safe baby and know that you have been loved from the very first moment.  


I love you forever, 


Mommy 




Four weeks after this post, I am happy to report a great doctor's visit complete with an ultrasound photo of the little jelly bean and recordings of good heartbeats and body measurements.  Praising the Lord for good news and continuing to pray for a healthy baby (and mama!).  



3 comments:

  1. so special! You are an amazing Mother, and I know you will do great with another little one.

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  2. now I'm crying. i'm praying for all 4 of you....for strength and grace and safety. :)

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